Tuesday
Something strange happened today. As has happened before, the big thing that feeds me placed me in the little house and we went in the bumpy noisy machine for a ride. Usually, when this ordeal is over we are back in the place I thought was my home, with many others like me running around.
Today though, once all the noisy bumpy rides were over another big thing was carrying my little house and when the little house had its door opened I was somewhere I did not know. This is not the first time this has happened to me, I know, but I thought this would not happen again. I am very brave, as you well know, so I was not going to sit inside the little house. To my utter shock, there were two big things outside the little house looking at me. There was the big thing that I saw during the bumpy ride, I think it is a "she" and an even bigger big thing that I am sure is a "he".
They were making all these silly sounds, the sort you make to babies at me. It was so pathetic I decided to punish them by hiding under the place that I assume they sleep, from my past experiences with the big things. I did come out briefly for them to worship and pat me a little and to eat some of the food they provided as an offering. It was a suitable offering of hard food variety. I left some to eat when it gets dark, it is noisy to eat and I want to disturb the sleeping of the big things if I can.
The big things eventually turned out the lights and lay on the sleeping area that they use. I came out to inspect my new subject. I bite the "she" one so she knows she is my subject. I will save the biting for the "he" one once I have fully subdued the "she" one. They seem like nice subjects. They do give me a lot of petting. I wonder if they are 100% ok in the head. I am not sure when I will be able to escape their constant attention again to contact you, but I will try.
Thursday
I have managed to escape the relentless observations of the big things for a short time to provide an update. Yesterday I decided to lay down some authority. Through a combination of staying under the bed and refusing to leave the room they have given me, they now know to come and worship me at regular intervals. This house does have more rooms for me to rule over, I took a brief inspection last night, but first I must make sure my servants are in line.
I am trying to decipher the strange sounds they call each other. I think the "she" one's name is Akee and the "he" one is Shoo. They make so many sounds so much it makes me tired. Do they not know you only should speak when demanding offerings of attention or food? I have continued to focus my efforts on Akee. When she sleeps I am reminding her of her place and waking her up. She pats me when I do this, as is expected of her. The big one, Shoo, comes to bed later. I will work on him next week but for now, this has given me a chance to dedicate my training to Akee.
Although this move was not part of my master plan, I have decided I will like it here and this will be a suitable domain for me.
Saturday
To reward the big things for the food offerings and massages I decided yesterday to grace the rest of my catdom with my presence. I have now taken full control of all the rooms of my new house. In addition to food and pats they now also have provided my offerings of toys to entertain me. They are good servants, when I bring the toys back to them they know to throw them again. This works even if they are mostly asleep. I have trained them well already.
I have many nice places to sleep here now. I have my main sleeping area inside one of the wardrobes where they keep their clothes. This makes them have to work hard to find me for the hourly offerings of attention they are so desperate to provide. I also have a nice spot in front of one of the windows. It is a distance from the door and there are obstacles in the way so they still have to work hard to worship me.
I did not have to train them at all to provide some very nice wet food in addition to the hard pellets which I also like. I am now fully in control. It has only taken me a few days to usurp any previous system of hierarchy here and place myself in control. I will update you all in the future on how my new empire is going. For now, I must go back to my naps. Where would a cat be without his naps.
King Gonzo.
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